The Bullets Meant for Me
by breaktherules
Summary: What did Mireille Bouquet mean at the end of episode 13 of Noir 'Season of Hell' Why did she warn Kirika to stay away from Milosh? This story may shed some light. This story is being revised.


_Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Noir. This story is rated T for disturbing images, and Violence. This is a Pre-series look into the mind of Mireille Bouquet and what her life was like before Kirika. This is written in her POV._

"**_The Bullets Meant for Me"_**

I never thought I would ever care for anybody again.

My childhood was forever ruined by the murder's of my parents and brother. I could never forget their bloody bodies as they lay crumbled and broken around me. My beautiful mother who always had a kind word for me, who played with me and loved me like no other- was dead. My whole world changed in that instant. My childhood was over, my innocence shattered by my loss.

My only remaining family was my Uncle Claude. He was the one who taught me his trade as soon as we were exiled from Corsica. I was shocked- how could he expect to learn these things. I remembered Silvana Greone and I trembled at the thought of becoming like her.

**But someone had killed my family- I had to avenge them somehow.**

So, instead of playing with dolls, I was learning how to take lives. I had to learn how to kill a man without caring. No matter how much it hurt at first- I really had no choice but to do what my Uncle told me. He was the only one I had left and I knew that this was my only path.

I told myself it was the only way I could avenge my family. I only knew that I would do whatever was necessary to find out who had killed them. I longed for the day I found out so I could finally kill them for what they had taken from me.

**I longed for that day so much. It was the only thing that drove me on..**

I found that after you kill a couple of times- that I began not to care. I became numb and cold because I didn't want to experience emotions anymore. Even so, I remembered how my first kill left me shattered inside. I couldn't stand the pain I felt at first.

How could taking another life make up for what I lost? Why kill anyone? I remember crying to my uncle. He was very upset with me, and said I had to forget these feelings and do what he taught me. He was very strict and a taskmaster, but he loved me. We were all the family we had.

So I learned to ignore my feelings of sorrow and horror at what I was doing, and tried to be the best I could at taking out targets. I no longer thought of them as people anymore. Now they were just targets to be eliminated. I was deadly and proud of it. The path I had to choose was something I could do quite well but I was still just teenager. I was lonely but there was no time for dating or friends.

Uncle Claude taught me that friends were only a liability. I had to forget about them and just focus on the killing. So I had to become a loner. I was completely and utterly alone, especially after my uncle left.** I hated it..**

My uncle had arranged a private tutor for me so that I could learn my school lessons. I was smart and literature was my favorite subject. I already knew what my career path would be- Assassin. I was earning my own living as a assassin by the age of seventeen. I got an apartment in Paris and was living there alone but at least I had money. It seems I lived pretty well off the deaths of others.

Then one day, I met Jean Paul. He worked at the library I had started going to. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. He had blue eyes and curly black hair. He smiled the most beautiful smile that lit up my heart. I was drawn to him and he was to me.

We could talk for hours about the books we liked. I had never felt this way before. I kept trying to tell myself to **not** feel, I wasn't supposed to have feelings like this. Soon I realized I was in love with him. We made love together and I was so happy. But this couldn't be happening to me. I shouldn't feel love, I didn't deserve this.

**I had a job to complete. I had a family to avenge. This could never last..**

I was a weak and lonely fool. He was perfect and he loved me. But I could never have a future with him. I couldn't let him know what I did for a living and I didn't want him to know.

I didn't want him to know how black my heart was, and how I could coldly shoot a man down without a thought. It had to end, it just had to...

He asked me to marry him. I couldn't believe it. I wasn't going to be able to have that kind of life. It had already been determined a long time ago. So I broke up with him. **I had to.**

I still remember his pain and confusion. I rememeber him asking me if I loved him. I told him that it was because I loved him that I was doing this, and I hoped one day he'd understand. After he left, I cried like a baby. My emotions were still there after all it seemed.

I promised to myself I would never feel for anybody else again. **No matter what!**

I quit going to the library and avoided anyplace he might be. He called me for awhile but I never called back. I never opened my door to him if he tried to visit. It took a few weeks but he finally stopped trying.

The following week I had a new assignment. I was to take out a target close to where I lived. There was a cafe that stayed open late at night and the target was supposed to be there on that Monday night. It was a cold night and I had on my jeans, red sweater, and black boots. I wore my grey coat that I hid my gun in.

I walked there briskly while making sure no one was following me. It should have been an easy target for me. There was a big tree that was directly across the street from the cafe, where I could hide and watch. As I came to the tree, I crouched down and noticed that my target had two of his men with him. I would have to eliminate them as well since those were the order's assigned me. Then I noticed JeanPaul was in the cafe- sitting by himself. This wasn't good at all.

What could I do? I had to carry out my assignment but I couldn't let JeanPaul get hurt. My target had two extra people with him so somehow he must have found out an attempt was going to be made on his life. No one who had ever seen my face so far had lived to tell about it. I could easily pass for a college student so I usually didn't arouse any suspicion.

I stayed under the tree and waited for Jean- Paul to leave, so I could eliminate my targets. Finally, I saw him get up and walk out of the cafe. Instead of turning and walking down the street like I hoped he would, he walked over to where I thought I was hidden.

"Mireille, what are you doing?" he asked, as he knelt down to me. His blue eyes gazed down into mine, as a lock of his curly black hair fell forward. He was still so handsome...

I felt my blood turn to ice as I realized how dangerous this was. My targets were going to notice us under this tree soon. He had to leave me so I could do my job.

"JeanPaul, please just walk away and do it NOW." I said firmly, as I noticed my targets getting up and exiting the cafe.

"Why?" he asked curiously, then looked at me in shock as I pulled my gun out of my jacket and had it ready to shoot.

"Please...just go..." I whispered as he backed away. As soon as he did, a shot rang out and a bullet whizzed past me, almost hitting me. It was starting...

JeanPaul began to run and I finally was able to hit one of my targets in the back. As he fell, the other one aimed at my former lover and hit him in the head and back. I watched in horror as he staggered and fell.

"NO!" I screamed, as I fired my gun at the one who hit him. Just then, my original target began to shoot at me. "Just a damn girl!" he said dismissively, before I aimed and shot him in the throat. Then I ran after the last target who had hit JeanPaul. He and I had a exchange of gunfire but I was finally able to kill him.

I knew it was a matter of minutes before people would fill the streets and the authorities would arrive. I had to get away before I was caught, but I **had **to know if JeanPaul was still alive. I ran over to his still body and with one look at his open eyes, I knew he was gone from this life. His beautiful face was streaked with blood from the gaping hole in the side of his head. My fault...I didn't know...I loved him so...

Then I ran before anyone saw me. All my targets were dead and so was the man I had loved. I arrived back to my apartment and I peeled off my clothes and took the coldest shower I could. I wanted to freeze this pain away.. I decided then that I would make my heart colder than ice. I couldn't feel like this again and I never wanted to feel love again because I knew it would always end up like this.

**Someone I loved taking the bullets meant for me.**

END

A/N- We don't know much about Mireille's past. When Milosh was killed, it shows Mireille looking sad and telling Kirika not to get close to him. It seems to me that something similar might have happened to Mireille. I just feel Mireille had a boyfriend or lover before she met up with Kirika. The complexities of her past life and her relationship with Kirika are just so interesting to explore.

Reviews are appreciated and cherished(not flames though)


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